Today I sent an email to Nadine Dorries following her comments about introducing extra abstinence themed sex education for girls. Here it is:
Dear Ms Dorries,
I was shocked and saddened by your suggestions for changing sex
education in schools.
I write for a national teen girls magazine, and I'm the elder sister of
teenage girls. I'm very aware that teens are faced with thousands of
challenging choices and an overload of information can make it difficult
to pick the right one. I'm also very aware that my sisters and the teen
readers I come into contact with daily are intelligent, vivacious
informed young women who will seek out as much information as possible
when it comes to making the right choice.
Even though our culture is a seemingly permissive one, young women are
still judged and damaged by old rules that dictate that they are going
to be judged by their sexual behaviour. Especially when there are barely
any guidelines governing teenage boys or young men, who live in an
increasingly sexualised world and are not pressured to be held
accountable for their behaviour.
Before girls are targeted with extra sex education, boys desperately
need much more education and information about the importance of respect
and consent, and the danger of basing their sexual expectations on
pornography. Girls do need more sex education, but the kind that teaches
them to respect themselves - obviously, acknowledging the risk of
pregnancy and the importance of the age of consent is vital, but the
message I impart to the girls who read my features and the one I wish I
could give every single young woman in the country is this:
Sex with someone who cares about you is wonderful. Sex with someone who
doesn't care about you can be dreadful. When you're young, hormones and
emotions can lead you to make bad decisions, but there shouldn't be any
decisions you make where the consequences ruin your life. This means
contraception and abortion should be freely available, but also that no
one - not a boy or a teacher or a parent or a politician - should ever
make you feel sad and ashamed about what you have done with your body.
The best way to foster rebellion or unhappiness in a teenage girl is to
dictate the way she should feel about her body. As someone in the media
I'm proud to take responsibility in enforcing positive ideas about body image, and
encourage readers to feel in control of their bodies. As a politician I
feel you have a great responsibility to encourage girls to take
ownership of their bodies and themselves - and if you pressure girls to
stay chaste, then you're making girls feel just as powerless and
potentially alienated as someone pressuring them into sexual activity
is.
I hope you consider my comments, and if you would like any further
information about the subjects I have mentioned I would be happy to
assist.
Kind regards
I was shocked and saddened by your suggestions for changing sex
education in schools.
I write for a national teen girls magazine, and I'm the elder sister of
teenage girls. I'm very aware that teens are faced with thousands of
challenging choices and an overload of information can make it difficult
to pick the right one. I'm also very aware that my sisters and the teen
readers I come into contact with daily are intelligent, vivacious
informed young women who will seek out as much information as possible
when it comes to making the right choice.
Even though our culture is a seemingly permissive one, young women are
still judged and damaged by old rules that dictate that they are going
to be judged by their sexual behaviour. Especially when there are barely
any guidelines governing teenage boys or young men, who live in an
increasingly sexualised world and are not pressured to be held
accountable for their behaviour.
Before girls are targeted with extra sex education, boys desperately
need much more education and information about the importance of respect
and consent, and the danger of basing their sexual expectations on
pornography. Girls do need more sex education, but the kind that teaches
them to respect themselves - obviously, acknowledging the risk of
pregnancy and the importance of the age of consent is vital, but the
message I impart to the girls who read my features and the one I wish I
could give every single young woman in the country is this:
Sex with someone who cares about you is wonderful. Sex with someone who
doesn't care about you can be dreadful. When you're young, hormones and
emotions can lead you to make bad decisions, but there shouldn't be any
decisions you make where the consequences ruin your life. This means
contraception and abortion should be freely available, but also that no
one - not a boy or a teacher or a parent or a politician - should ever
make you feel sad and ashamed about what you have done with your body.
The best way to foster rebellion or unhappiness in a teenage girl is to
dictate the way she should feel about her body. As someone in the media
I'm proud to take responsibility in enforcing positive ideas about body image, and
encourage readers to feel in control of their bodies. As a politician I
feel you have a great responsibility to encourage girls to take
ownership of their bodies and themselves - and if you pressure girls to
stay chaste, then you're making girls feel just as powerless and
potentially alienated as someone pressuring them into sexual activity
is.
I hope you consider my comments, and if you would like any further
information about the subjects I have mentioned I would be happy to
assist.
Kind regards
Daisy
